A six week review

It's hard to believe that six weeks tonight Lilly Rose came into this world. 6 weeks at 11:08PM. It's a bit surreal as I write this email, once again watching golf, this time, it's not a major tournament, but it is the beginning of the Fed Ex Playoffs, so it shows the passage of time. Lilly Rose is bigger and the pro golfers are in the playoffs! It's been a wild 6 weeks. I wasn't sure how we would manage but we do. Regina, Lilly's baby nurse and our baby whisperer, was with us for the first three weeks. She, plus my parents and Mark's parents, showed us the ropes. But it was Regina, we credit, with getting her on a schedule, and really, us on a schedule. We do a feeding about every three hours, sometimes it a little more, sometimes a little less, but all depends on her, and her nap. Regina also showed us that we won't hurt the baby, that its ok to hold the child and not fear that you are going to snap her little neck. In the beginning, I know I was so timid, almost holding her at bay, afraid she would break. If she needed to burp, it was light taps on the back. I would look over at Regina or my mom, and it was thumps! I thought, how can they be doing this to her? Won't it hurt her? Nope. In fact got the burp up faster then my little pats. Now I thump. I hold her stomach and thump. None of this patting stuff, that's only reserved for when we cuddle.

But we are doing well, a little sleep deprived, but that's just our new normal. It's hard though, the exhaustion brings out the anxiety, more so in me than in Mark, and that doesn't always make for a good combination. I've been trying to do a better job of resting when she sleeps. It's not perfect, but what is? And we're getting a bedtime routine down, we used to bathe her in the morning but now we do it at night, she likes her bath, and now seems to recognize it means she will then get swaddled, eat, read stories and then say our prayers. All leading up to bedtime.

In terms of Mark and I, we've managed to get away for dinner. We had bad Mexican food at Superior Grill, though we were both so tired, we kind of felt we should have sent Lilly Rose out with Mo and Mel, and we would stay home and sleep. But we did enjoy getting out. Though it did feel a bit weird not to have her with us. We're also trying to have our dinners together once she goes down. Sometimes it works and other times it doesn't. One of us will hold her while the other eats, and then deal with her. But we're learning. That's the best thing to say. We're all learning together and about one another. We can detect cries, we feel confident we know her tired, her hungry, and her wet/soiled diaper cry. Sometimes she just cries or screams, and we don't know which category it fits into, but we do our best. We've taken loads of pictures and some video. And we've gotten used to listening to both NPR and her noises at night (we keep the radio on at night because a) she's used to it by now, and b) we want her to become comfortable falling asleep to and with noise - A Regina technique). But I can see some instances of Lilly becoming a Daddy's girl - like last night for example, Mark went to her room, because she was crying, but she was supposed to be napping. We looked at the monitor couldn't really detect why she should be up, but he made the trek upstairs. As soon as he said "Lilly" and she heard his voice, she quieted down. Not a peep. He put the pacifier back in her mouth, and she settled back into her slumber. When she was waking up from her nap, I went to get her, I said her name, and she continued to cry. So Mark's got the magic and smooth voice. She's been cooing for about a week now, and we're getting more smiles, though they seem to be all gas or poo related.

And in terms of bodily waste, we've gotten so comfortable with spit up, pee, poo, etc. No more phasing us. I remember early on, being jealous that she spit up on Mark (don't ask why) and not on me. And now it's almost a weird day if she doesn't get some sort of spit up on a shirt. I've got my shirts that are in rotation but sometimes, if it's just a little bit, I keep it on and change before bed. It's just a little sour milk smell. We've had poo on us, on her, on the car seat and even on our bed spread (this was from an explosive diaper Friday afternoon). But Aunt Bitsy, who has had to deal with dog vomit, poo and pee (even dog vomit in her purse while driving the backroads of Arkansas) gave us some Natural Stain Remover and it's like gold. Gets everything out - even the poo on our white comforter. So that doesn't phase us.

I go back to Dr. Ross tomorrow morning, for the 6 week postpartum check up. My hormones have been out of whack - I've had my fair share of hot flashes and emotional breakdowns. I've been told it's normal, as it takes, my mom says, almost ten months to have a baby, you can't expect to bounce back in just two weeks. Getting out of the house helps. Though I don't do it as much as I should, I am going to try and make it a goal to at least get out with her and go for a walk everyday. Even if its just for ten minutes, the fresh air and sun does help. Friday I found myself in a panic but made it through. She seemed to sense that I needed some comfort and just laid on my chest. I tried to breathe with her, but that didn't work, so I just worked on my own.

And tonight is the 6 week celebration of her birth, and we are cracking open the CakeBread Chardonnay. A celebration indeed! To Love, Life, Family, Friends, and Lilly!