A little bit of throw up

There's nothing like throw up to kick off a Friday morning. Lilly slept well last night - went down around 10, I was back downstairs for Jon Stewart's big announcement, the 'Rally to Restore Sanity in America' and see his interview with President Bill Clinton. I had the monitor, and she wasn't asleep but she wasn't fussing. So we let her put herself to sleep. Which by the end of the Daily Show at 10:30, she had.

So this morning, around 5:15 AM she started stirring but didn't get up until closer to 6:30-6:45. And rightfully so, she was hungry. So my mom changed her diaper and then brought her down to me so she could eat. Well, she ate well on my left breast, she went for about ten minutes before switching sides. She took a little, went for about two-three minutes before she wanted to burp. Well I was holding my hand against her stomach, and she was facing my left side. I was thumping her back when all of a sudden I see this jerk of fluids come out towards me, on my t-shirt, on my pants, on the beige pillowcase and sheets. And she vomited her breakfast. Vomit and spit up are funny. Because it seems like SO much, and I feel so certain that everything she just ate, came back up. The books tell a different story. They say it can't possibly be, though it certainly looks like it. But in that instant, when this yellow/cream liquid concoction comes out at you, I feel like the books are wrong.

She's been ok today - sleeping a little bit more. Not eating tons. She's still real gassy, so we are giving her all formula today, to see if her stomach can't be settled before going back to breastmilk. Of course, I'm going through my head all the foods that could have caused her to throw up and make her so damn gassy. Soy - have been having a lot more lately, got my soy milk, soy cereal, oatmeal raisin protein soy bars. Or it could have been the pizza I had last night, dairy makes me gassy, so it could have her. Or it could have been the cauliflower - they say its a gas inducing vegetable. Or better yet, it could be the hummus. Who knows? But I'm trying for a reduction in my soy, as a first measure. And no more hummus and chickpeas for me, I read that beans are definitely gas producing (remember that song from childhood, beans, beans, they are good for your heart, the more you eat, the more you fart?) So trying to cut those two ingredients out. And freezing a lot of breastmilk today.

Toots McGee

We're back to bodily functions! Lilly's been really, really gassy lately. So much so that we've re-named her nickname from Doodlebug to Tootlebug. And we also call her Toots McGee because she passes the gas all the time. In her sleep. While she's eating. Sitting in your lap. And these aren't lady-like, quiet farts. It's loud. So much so you wonder if Mark, myself or JJ could have done it. But nope. Just her. And they're not just loud either, they smell. Like the poop, it's amazing something so small can produce flatulence like that. You can hear the toot when she's napping and you are sitting on the couch. It's unbelievable.

She had her first Wally World (Walmart) experience today. She was mostly asleep for the entire shopping trip, but that didn't stop JJ and I from buying her items. She got her first pair of blue jeans (on sale for only $2 and 3-6months size), 'What happens at Grandma's Stays at Grandma's' purple onesie, Pea pod halloween costume, and 'I love my Mummy' onesie. She also got a sun shade, so the rays don't blind her and make her eyes uncomfortable, while riding in the car. She also got something for her to look at, which would go on the back of the driver's seat, while riding in the blue Jetta. Lilly definitely made out like a bandit. And only started waking up as we were headed toward the checkout. Luckily the peace pipe pacified her and she was an angel in line. Not a peep.

Enjoy the video - Mark is helping Lilly lead a symphony - who knows, perhaps a future profession for Tootlebug.

Potted Plants

So according to Dr. Lomabrd, Mark's doctor, Lilly is in her potted plant phase. You place her down and she just sits there, doesn't move, similar to a potted plant. Mark has a case of baby tendinitis, or in actuality, it's either a pinched nerve or more likely muscle spasms. He's been having sharp, sore pain in his left arm muscle for a bit longer than a week, and went in and met with the doctor today. He basically said Mark would need an MRI for the most accurate diagnosis, but sounds like pinched nerve or muscle spasm, probably brought on by Lilly and Mark's new purchase, the iPad. Dr. Lombard, Mark's physician, basically said lifting the baby is like lifting a 12 pound weight and overuse of the weight, like picking her up and lifting her up and down, can overextend the muscle. So no more Advil, it's hot compresses, Aleve, and Icy/Hot for Mark. And unfortunately for Mark, it doesn't look like Lilly's losing any weight, so she will only get bigger.

She's gotten into blowing bubbles with her drool. It's pretty cute. She'll have some bubbles between her lips, and then let out a long line of spit. Not bad. And I'm not sure she's the biggest fan on post-natal yoga. Of course, it cuts into her napping time, so when she should be asleep, her JJ and I dragged her to the class. Crying babies are the norm, according to the instructor, and she was the first one to let out a wail, and get the crying started! Luckily she took to her peace pipe and my mom was there. Lilly wanted no part of laying on the blankets. She wanted to sleep and be held. So JJ held her, and she promptly went to sleep and slept throughout the entire hour class.

Tiny little fingernails!

Tiny little fingernails, no more than the top of a pencil eraser, can inflict damage! Lilly's been taking to squeezing our necks, when you hold her, and if she moves her fingers just right, its more scratch than squeeze. And this morning we woke up to a like of blood, in between her eyes, as she scratched herself in the middle of the night. So we put some neosporin on it, but she immediately brought her fingers to the cut, and looked like she was going to eat the medicine. We thought about bringing out her mittens, they are stashed in a little compartment on her dresser. She's got three pairs, white, yellow, and green, but JJ cut her nails so hopefully they can no longer do harm. So far so good, two naps down, no new cuts!

Jen's Jewish New Year

So yesterday at 11:08PM Lilly Rose turned 8 weeks, hard to believe but its been a great ride so far. She's developing some facial expressions, such as lifting her right eyebrow, giving us some small smiles, and really just is a great person to be around. She's been cooing a lot more, at times, it sounds like she is saying hi. I like to think she is, so I say hi back. She's becoming more aware of her surroundings, tracking objects, people's voices, etc. And she's just fun to be around. Surrender to the goat, the mantra from my yoga class, is what I repeat to myself, if I find myself becoming frustrated. People tell us to enjoy each day with her, they fly by, was advice we got beforehand, and they sure do. They days can be long, but the months, years short (took that from a book).

And with that in mind, I decided (along with Mark's support and guidance) to resign from my job and be with Lilly. I knew I didn't want to go back full-time so I asked to go back part-time but that wouldn't work out for the Museum, so after meeting with my boss, I took a day to think it over, and then resigned. It feels right, this all came about at the time of the Jewish New Year, so it feels like this is a new chapter for me/for us. And it all started with the new year, so I took it as a positive sign. I had a great talk with my boss, he said he understood, he's got two daughters, 6 and 2, and he hates leaving them in the morning. His wife stays home with them. I journaled some and just tried to get a sense of what I wanted to do, even before Lilly I had been thinking about how I wasn't stimulated by my job, and I wasn't prepared for my priorities to shift once I had her. I guess you never can be until you do. So not sure what each day will look like. I'm hoping to get some structure nailed down. Regina's coming on Tuesday's so it looks like we'll ask her to come either 1-2 more days a week. For now, I'm looking into either volunteering with the library or at a school or seeking a part-time job. Something for adult interaction and stimulation. I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about this change, but it does feel right. I am excited to be able to spend time with her while she is young. Knowing myself, and my propensity for anxiety and susceptability to depression, I will need something. So that's what I am looking for. I will continue with the writing, though it turns out I wasn't able to get into the class. I went for the first two classes- loved it - but the professor wasn't able to add the three of us on the waiting list. So next semester.

So new ride. Following my heart. As with Lilly, will keep you posted on this new journey. So with the picture, we're resting up for the road ahead!

Lilly's first Jewish New Year

So I've taken to writing down when I first hear her in the morning. Thursday it was 6:16 - grunting. Friday 6:23 - more grunting. And this morning - it was first 7:10 and then 7:25 - a little bit of baby grunting, but more disbelief, that it was past seven and she was still in bed!

We welcomed in the Jewish new year, with friends and family. We went to dinner at Mark's cousin's mother's house, who also happens to be a volunteer at the Museum. I hadn't seen Anne since going on bed rest, so it was nice to see her and have her meet Lilly. Lilly was definitely on her best behavior. As we had been to post-natal yoga that morning, then we took a visit to the Museum in the afternoon, before getting ready for Rosh Hashannah dinner. So a lot of stimulation and quite frankly, being in the car seat, which doesn't look like its the most comfortable seat, especially when she falls asleep and let's her head droop at such an odd and painful looking angle. But she saw her Aunt Sarah, Safta Margot, cousins Robyn, Bobby, Emile and Marcel, and Glynn, amongst other friends. By 8pm (dinner began at 6) she was tired, hungry and ready for home. Our plan was to make it to services, but she wouldn't hear of it. So we did a divide and conquer. Mark went to services and I took the Lilly bit home. Her patience for being in the car seat was wearing thin, and she let that and her hunger be known. She cried from her seat, pretty much from Jefferson and Claiborne to our house, which is probably about 2 miles. I turned up the satellite radio, and listened as the PGA golf network prepared for the BMW Championship.

Once inside, I got her out of the carrier and then she ate. And was much much happier.

Thursday we took her to services. And they sound the shofar a bunch of times, and kid you not, the first time she heard it, her eyes opened so wide, she was startled, and didn't know what to make of it. I had her in the back, and when I saw this, I just laughed. Mark was still seated, so I couldn't wait for him to see, which he did, on our second trip out of the sanctuary. The pacifier was definitely her peace pipe. It quieted her during the service and when that ran out and her hunger peaked, we fed her in the back (travel formula bottles but don't forget to pack the nipple that comes with it, only took Mark and I opening two of the three 2 ounce bottles before we realized how it all came together). She spit up down Mark's suit jacket and onto the temple wood floor. I forgot the bib cloth, so I used a blanket - that I had two of! But unlike breastmilk and powdered formula, the travel one is brown in color as opposed to white. So the spit up is all the more gross and staining!

But we welcomed the New Year with her and are thankful for the blessing that she is. And we are thankful for all the friends and family we have. We took her to services this morning, and she did well too, until that damn hunger seemed to get the best of her. So she went out during the rabbi's sermon and ate. But once she gets the food, she's a happy camper. Aren't we all though? But in observance with September 11, the rabbi talked about the gray matter between black and white, and how it is not as easy to discern as we think. I reflected on how its been 9 years since the attacks, and remembered the fear and disbelief I felt that day, and days, months afterwards. Being across the river from the Pentagon and seeing the smoke, from the bottom of the office building was surreal. So I know we are both thankful for what we have in life, especially each other and now Lilly Rose. So in this new year we will try to stay mindful of each other and surrender to the goat. Lilly will not always stay so little, clutching to our necks when she sleeps or is startled. Or she will not always coo and give us the poop/gas smile. So we've got it now and much to look forward to. So here's hoping everyone has a sweet and happy new year.

The silence

It feels very strange. Mark and I are alone in the house. And it is silent. Odd. I can hear the hum of the silver Frigidaire as well as the see the images on the muted tv. But there is no baby in the napper, pack and play, or on the couch. She's with her Mo and Mel, at one of their friend's house. They took her so we could have some alone time and I will admit, that letting someone else drive, who is other than Mark or myself, is really, really, odd, strange, and a bit disconcerting. Showing Mo how to get the car seat in and out of the base. Showing Mel what's in the diaper bag, trying to delay their leaving, so I can hold onto Lilly Rose for as long as I can.

It's out of my control, is what it is, I can't physically keep her safe. I don't like it but I need to get used to it, as she will be driving with others, like her aunts, uncles, JJ and Grandpa David, all fine drivers, but they aren't Mark or myself. Letting go. It sucks.

But on the bright side, we are in a quiet house. We can eat an uninterrupted meal. We can talk. We can be together.