Issues

At what point do my issues become her issues? Do they naturally extend to her? Or is there a way to stop it from transferring? I'm anxious. Will she be? How do I get her to be not so tense? But my big one, and no pun intended is weight. I hear, in response to seeing her,

"She's not undernourished."

"She's getting fatter and fatter."

"She's a porker."

And at 10 weeks, 4 days, she's at 13 pounds (or at least at her last check up), she's in the 90-95th percentile for weight. She's long. But its the weight that I'm worried about, or at least, it's the comments, that I most seem to hear.

And I grew up overweight, not liking my body, feeling ugly, and I am so scared that she's going to do the same. I already hate hearing the weight comments. It makes me feel like a failure, like I want to not feed her. But she needs to eat, to grow, to be healthy. I don't want to have to monitor every little thing she eats. But I do want her to grow up loving whatever shape she's in, loving herself. But at what point does my anxiety over her weight go away?

She is a bigger baby. But she was born that way. We're not jamming food down her, she's eating when hungry. She's healthy. She smiles. She coos. But it's the weight that most gets me. At times that's all I hear. Like someone tonight, meaning no harm, I'm sure of it, said she's just getting fatter and fatter. Well, that could be a compliment, that could be her way of saying, man, she's growing, but I take it negatively. Like she's not beautiful. But she has the most beautiful round cheeks, tiny red bumps that adorn them. Bright blue eyes. Tiny button nose. She is beautiful. So at what point do my issues cease to become hers?

Rolled Over, Rolled Over

She rolled over (check out the above video)! For the second time. And this time there were no freak outs. She was calm, cool, collected and just fine. No crying. She just went on playing, and is still playing now. Looking at herself in the mirror and swinging at the chimes on the giraffe. She's on her back, and is now trying to roll over from her back to the stomach. And as Mark just said, "And so it begins, we can now longer leave her unattended. Not on a bed. Not on the floor." So wearing her 'Love Me' onesie (the heart pants had been taken off at the last diaper change) she rolled over for her dad, Mo, Mel, and Aunt Sarah. Good times. Good times.

Mirror, Mirror on the wall

So Lilly loves mirrors. She enjoys checking herself out in her bathroom mirror, on the sun mirror on the jungle gym, friends mirrors. Anything reflective and she's a happy camper. I caught her this morning smiling up at herself, while she was laying on the jungle gym mat. She just spent 20 minutes, cooing, smiling, just loving herself in the mirror. I couldn't argue with her. She was content, so happy. I wonder if she knows that she's staring at herself or does she think its someone else?

On another note, don't try to mess with her before nap or feeding time, she won't have it. She was sleepy, but I thought I could take advantage of it, put her in the stroller and I could get lunch and do some quick grocery shopping at Whole Foods. I ordered two slices of pizza (veggie and bacon, garlic, and basil - delicious!) from Slice, and was told 15 minutes until I could pick it up. We played for a little bit longer before getting her into the stroller. It's only 3 blocks to the restaurant and Whole Foods, and she was ok on the way there. I picked up my pizza and I stow it under the stroller, and get ready for Whole Foods when she starts crying. She wasn't soothed by the peace pipe. And while Whole Foods is across the street, I opt to forgo it, hoping that the walk home will put her to sleep. Nope, it only serves to make her angrier and cry harder.

One block into our walk (Joseph and Camp), I am leaning over to keep the pacifier in, and cries out. But it's awkward to walk, push the stroller and manuever the streets of NOLA. So she's not stopping, so I take her out of the stroller, hold her push the empty cart two blocks home. She immediately quiets down. Suddenly she's a happy camper. And once we get home, she goes into her napper and takes a 2 hour nap. Go figure.

No go yet, but here's an almost clip

So she hasn't rolled over again - what a bummer - hoping she'll do it tonight for her dad.

But here's her yesterday, getting oh so close, as she awaits the Alabama/Arkansas game.

She Rolled Over!

So this morning, while doing her tummy time, Lilly Rose, got the weight behind, held her head up high, and rolled over, albeit slowly, onto her back! It was awesome. And my mom and I cheered (she was on Skype), I called Mark (he was on his way to the Saints game), and then Lilly started to cry and wanted to nap. Of all the times I've had the Flip camera on her, while she's doing tummy time, this is one time I didn't. When she started tummy time, she held her head up real high, exercising those muscles and showing us the control she had over her head. And she had her gold Mary Jane socks on, as this is part of her Saints football outfit, but they weren't giving her traction on the mat, so I took them off. And she started scooting. The mat is a bit slick, so it too is hard to gain traction, but she did, moving a bit. She would turn her head towards JJ's voice. Look up. And then she got a little fussy, so I picked her up. And then I placed her back down on the mat, and she got her arms underneath her, and just rolled over! Super exciting! Now I'm on a mission today to capture it on the Flip camera. Wish me luck!

Friday's Adventure

What an afternoon we had! Aunt Sarah and I went to lunch at the cheese shop - cousin Glynn also joined us, and after we dropped Glynn off at her house, we went to the UPS store, near Tulane's campus. I had to mail a package, and thinking I would be quick, which it was probably 5-7 minutes, I left the car running, most importantly the AC going, so Aunt Sarah and Lilly would be cool.

So it's a little after 1, and Lilly is nearing feeding time. But the trip to the UPS store is a detour, and we should be able to make it back to the house before Lilly has a hungry meltdown. So once I pay for the package and receive the tracking number, I head back to the car. I turn the key, to restart the engine, but no go. Lights come on the dashboard, I see the oil lamp, some red lights, some green lights, and a orange tool wrench and battery. So I try again. No go. And it's now getting hot in the car. And Lilly has started to cry. And the car is making no noise and no attempt to start. The engine is dead. And its hot. Sarah said Lilly has started to sweat, so after one more failed try, I get her out of the car seat and we head back to the UPS store, now with diaper bag, baby, and Sarah. But at least there's the AC.

Lilly's making the attacking/hunger sounds. She's rooting and going for the boobs. So thank goodness for the travel formula bottles. Pour into one of her bottles and she's good to eat (not part of the recall - so phew on that). She takes to the formula and is good. The UPS store's AC is really helping her, and she cools off.

We then call the dealership. They give me the number for a towing company. We call Uncle Clifford and he comes to get us. I leave the key under the floor mat and we take the car seat and base out of my car and put it into Clifford's. Lilly's doing great, still eating, and calm. She's not crying. She's content. I think she enjoyed being held - and no complaints there, if she's letting me problem solve and being a good girl, then will hold her until the cows come home. Or in this case Uncle Clifford or the tow truck.

So now the Jetta is in the shop - it won't be looked at until Monday, so I hope it's ok and doesn't need too much work.

She's been regular too - had her poops. Had her tummy time. Getting her head held high. Gone through one outfit and into another. Holding her hands together, interlacing her fingers. Cooing and smiling, especially after she pooped. All in all, a good Friday!

Fans, Glorious Fans

Next time you are in a room with a moving ceiling fan, just stare at it. It's quit soothing. And interesting to watch. Lilly loves ceiling fans, especially moving ones. Not so much for the air they bring, but for the shadows and movements they create. Her eyes gravitate towards the swirling blades. I had her in our room this morning, as I got dressed, and she was on our bed. And the first place her eyes went was towards our silver fan. And she loved it. She just stared and stared, and stared until she started leaning towards the right, into the intersection of two pillows. Not one to enjoy being off balanced (really, who does?) She took her eyes off the fan and started to get upset, thus breaking the harmony and beauty of the appliance. But try it sometime, you'll feel soothed, and cool off, at the same time.

We've had a good day so far. We went for a walk in the morning, got about twenty minutes in, before she started crying and wouldn't stop. Normally she's soothed by the bumps. But nope. Only made her feel worse and become angrier. Found out why when we got home. Not only did she let out a good size daddy burp, but about ten minutes after got home, she let out three poops. So she was feeling good and regular! She had about an hour nap, ate some more, and then we went to Pier 1, where she hated being in the car seat, hated the ride over, and I, to combat any crying, took her out of the car seat (normally, I would carry it around in the store) and held her while shopping for some picture frames. Quickly found some, and got out of there. She started crying once we were in the car, but I told her only one more stop. Whole Foods. She was pretty good once we got the store. I kept her in the car seat, and put her at the front of the shopping cart.

We've had a slow cooker for almost a year now, and just yesterday I took it out of the box. It came with 10 recipes (BBQ ribs, pulled pork, spaghetti, etc), and I felt inspired to use it. So Mark and I decided on pulled pork, I brought the recipe with me to the store and went shopping for the meal (also got a rotissere chicken should the pork not taste good, always have a back up plan) and got some stuff for dinner tomorrow night (lemon herbed chicken, also going in the crock pot. She took it all in at Whole Foods, before finding the Peace Pipe ( I put it in her mouth) and falling asleep. She stayed asleep until we got home from the store.

We use Similac formula at night, and we found out last night that the powder, well majority of the powder is being recalled due to larva eggs found in some of the powder. Totally gross, and after typing in the numbers found on the bottom of the plastic container, we found out that her two are part of the recall. It said that babies might experience gastrointestinal disorders due to the contamination. Which might explain her bad bad gas. But it's just a gross though. Beetle eggs found in her formula powder. Yuck. We've got some travel liquid bottles, which are not part of the recall, so that can be given to her before she sleeps. But now our question is, do we go buy more Similac powder, as the stuff on the shelf should be ok now, or do we wait? It's just gross to think about. Poor Lilly's stomach, potentially being contaminated by insect parts. Eww.

But at least she's still got the fans to look and wonder at.