Issues

At what point do my issues become her issues? Do they naturally extend to her? Or is there a way to stop it from transferring? I'm anxious. Will she be? How do I get her to be not so tense? But my big one, and no pun intended is weight. I hear, in response to seeing her,

"She's not undernourished."

"She's getting fatter and fatter."

"She's a porker."

And at 10 weeks, 4 days, she's at 13 pounds (or at least at her last check up), she's in the 90-95th percentile for weight. She's long. But its the weight that I'm worried about, or at least, it's the comments, that I most seem to hear.

And I grew up overweight, not liking my body, feeling ugly, and I am so scared that she's going to do the same. I already hate hearing the weight comments. It makes me feel like a failure, like I want to not feed her. But she needs to eat, to grow, to be healthy. I don't want to have to monitor every little thing she eats. But I do want her to grow up loving whatever shape she's in, loving herself. But at what point does my anxiety over her weight go away?

She is a bigger baby. But she was born that way. We're not jamming food down her, she's eating when hungry. She's healthy. She smiles. She coos. But it's the weight that most gets me. At times that's all I hear. Like someone tonight, meaning no harm, I'm sure of it, said she's just getting fatter and fatter. Well, that could be a compliment, that could be her way of saying, man, she's growing, but I take it negatively. Like she's not beautiful. But she has the most beautiful round cheeks, tiny red bumps that adorn them. Bright blue eyes. Tiny button nose. She is beautiful. So at what point do my issues cease to become hers?